smuggams

Prayer

2012-01-08T22:23:00.003+08:00

I am no longer my own, but Yours. Put me to what You will, rank me with whom You will; put me to doing, put me to suffering. Let me be employed for You or laid aside for You; let me be full, let me be empty, let me have all things, let me have nothing; I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things to Your pleasure and disposal.

And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, You are mine and I am Yours.

A powerful prayer, and covenant made on watchnight service, 31st Dec 2011.
A reminder here, lest I forget.

I Surrender

2011-04-26T21:48:00.003+08:00

I think once you've done ballet, even if it more than a decade ago, it becomes very much a part of you and there's simply no running away from it.
Not that I intend to of cos :)

And I was gladly reminded of this today while watching the SYTYCD Season 7 Finale which had guest performers.
This inspiring dance routine, by Neal and Charlie and choreographed by Mandy Moore is just breathtaking.
Charlie had won the UK version of the competition, and it's clear why.

Check it out here.

Tree Hugger

2011-02-13T22:56:00.001+08:00

The flower said
I wish i was a tree
The tree said
I wish i could be
A different kind of tree
The cat wished that it was a bee
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea

And in the sea there is a fish
A fish that has a secret wish
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it
And in the sea there is a fish
A fish that has a secret wish
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it

And the flower
Would be its offering
Of love to the desert
And the desert
So dry and lonely
That the creatures all
Appreciate the effort

Tree Hugger - Antsy Pants

2010-06-05T15:07:00.003+08:00

Do you ever pay attention to song lyrics?
I know many people who listen to songs only for the melodies, and miss out on the poetry and inspiration behind the lyrics!

Love these rock quote posters.. only from musicphilosophy

Dear Anything I’ve Lost and then Found

2010-05-12T22:02:00.003+08:00

Stumbled upon this here

That Friday at Calvary

2010-03-22T22:58:00.003+08:00

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.

He can live anywhere in the universe,
and He chose your heart.
He is crazy about you!

God didn't promise days without pain,
laughter without sorrow, sun without rain.
But He did promise strength for the day,
comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

The Night Before Christmas

2009-12-28T22:18:00.001+08:00

Tom & Jerry is one of my all-time favourite cartoons. I love how they convey such lovely messages, all the while transcending language barriers, or even age barriers.
This clip in particular is most memorable! :)

Sit back, grab a cuppa warm caramel macchiato, and soak in the warm fuzzy feeling!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Happily (N)ever After?

2009-10-18T20:47:00.008+08:00

Have you guys heard of the show, Jon & Kate Plus 8? I caught this show on the Discovery Travel & Living program one morning when I was sick in bed. And remembering feeling so warm and fuzzy from it that I felt slightly better :p

Basically its reality tv, detailing the life of this couple having to deal with 8 kids. (They started out with twin girls, and while trying for the 3rd kid, they ended up with a sextuplet instead)

It was a valentine's day special, I recall. Jon and Kate were preparing to surprise each other with gifts, and at the same time Kate prepared a valentine's day tresasure hunt for her kids in their huge house.

It was really really sweet, the lovely things they did for each other, their very well-behaved children. I remember thinking, like wow! 8 kids and instead of fighting and pulling each other's hair out (just like a scene right out of the Supernanny series), Jon and Kate are absolutely in love with each other, and because of that, despite the huge size of the family, they are really pulling things together! It was as if, in the midst of all the chaos, there was true love.

Well... in true 'Happily Never After' style tho, it was revealed this year that the both of them were having affairs. They have since seperated as well. :(
Do marriage vows mean anything anymore, these days?! It's pretty sad, and a huge reality check.

Anw, here's a clip of them revealing how they met and fell in love. I also think this was shot after they have decided on seperating. It's really bittersweet.

Melts your heart, doesn't it!
Anw, it's so easy to become cynical after seeing marriage after marriage fall apart cos of cheating partners and what nots.
But I think at the end of the day, I still do believe in true love! And one that lasts.

I really, truly, honestly, and absolutely think it's possible!

Wheee!

2009-10-01T21:48:00.005+08:00

When was the last time you navigated through a foam maze?
Or when did you last crawl through a neon orange tunnel, and get to play with slides, and brightly coloured balls??
And when did you last celebrate Children's Day?

I did all of those - and MORE! :)

As part of my workplace's involvement with community events, approx 20 of us got to spend half the day playing with kids from the Autistic Association of Singapore. It was unbelievably fun!

In case you're curious, autistic kids look very much like regular kids. It's only that they have might have issues with social skills, but this can also be improved with therapy.

So anw! My kid was quite exceptional!
She came up to me, pointed at me and demanded "What is your name! I want to play with you!"
She was really high energy, yet very caring for someone so young! (She's only 6)
She was running all over the place, and kept holding my hand to make sure I'm behind her.

She made sure I got through the obstacles - I promise the maze is strictly kids-size only! There's no room to even stand! And at tunnels when I was trying to let the other kids pass, she would stop and scream my name.
"Jiahui!!! Faster! You scared of tunnel is it? Don't scared ok! You can do it one." hahahahaha.

(She was gesturing and saying cheese. Then I got the hint she wanted our picture taken! This young girl can really pose... I love this pic!)

Even while it was time to go home, and my colleagues and I were just chatting around, she came looking for me, held my hand and asked to play somemore.

Absolutely adorable :) She had so much love it's incredible.
I had signed up thinking I'm going there to bless someone that day.
Little did I know that I would be the one being blessed so much more :)

Well here's wishing you a very very VERY

Cos you're never too old to still be a child :)

My Darling Bottega!

2009-09-28T18:50:00.002+08:00

I did it! I did it! :)
FINALLY after months of cooing and drooling over the Montaigne, I decided to put my moolah down for the investment!

And now that I have it in my hands, I'm even more in love with it.
It's well-structured, yet so decadently soft - with the Nappa leather and the luxuriously soft interior.

Can you tell, I'm BEAMING! :)

Do you want to meet?

2009-09-05T23:21:00.002+08:00

For the romantics,
the dreamers,
and most importantly, those who believe in love.

SIGNS

A short film by director Patrick Hughes.
And also one of the 2009 Cannes Lions winners.

Magical!

2009-08-26T22:43:00.005+08:00

I think it's extremely rare these days to see love and joy in such unconditional, boundless terms! (I really don't agree with the last stunt but did you see his reaction at the end of it? Melts my heart!)

And to witness this all from a primate! Just imagine how much more love and joy are we capable of giving and showing one another, if only we wanted to.

That aside,
I REALLY WANT A MONKEY!!!

Options

2009-08-22T09:48:00.007+08:00

I have concluded that traders are indeed some of the most creative (albeit greedy?) people around.

No, they are not content with just transactions as in a 1-to-1 exchange. Like how when you go to the stall, you pay $3 in exchange for a plate of nasi lemak. Bah! There's no kick in that.

Why not decide today how much you want to buy that nasi lemak in 6 months time? I chope first to pay only $3. So even if your rent goes up, you cannot charge me more. This is known as forwards.

Better still, let me say I want to buy that plate of nasi lemak in 6 months time, but have no real intention of actually getting it. I can find a way to unwind this position before that 6 month expiry. So I can make a profit if you start charging higher, but I don't need to be actually eating the nasi lemak. This is known as futures.

Confused? This is only the start! Then come the huge world of options. If I believe the nasi lemak might go up to $5 due to rice shortage or something. I can long a call option so that I have the right to buy nasi lemak at $4 even though it went up to $5.

Then there's the interesting mix of options to make straddles, strangles, risk reversals, butterflies, condors, seagulls etc... (hrm, there seems to be an affinity with things that fly huh!)

Then to measure how profitable your option is, there are greeks like delta, gamma, volga, theta (similarly, the list goes on...) And let's not even start on the calculations behind these things!

Gah. I'm confused.
But then again, studying options have reaffirmed an important point.
In this world, there truly are endless possibilities.

Rainy days

2009-08-16T22:47:00.004+08:00

It rained a whole lot today.
Thankfully it wasn't a scary thunderstorm.
It was in fact a rather calm shower. (For that moment it actually reminded me of Christmas!)

Anyway, while I was in the study trying to catch up on some reading, I toyed with the idea to just step outside for a while.

To be covered in rain.
To want to be drenched.
Or if I'm adventurous enough, dip into the pool for a lil swim.
How cathartic that would be!

I remember when I was much younger, my friends and I used to run outside just as it started to rain. So that we could 'seek shelter' under this giant palm tree leaf.
We would huddle under the leaf for as long as we could.
Just for the fun and sillyness of it.
And only finally go back inside when my friend's mother starts yelling at us to, or when our fingers start to prune and we're shivering wet in our school uniforms.

How I long to be carefree like that again.

Losing the Plot

2009-08-10T21:55:00.001+08:00

Somedays I awake completely confused.
And as the blurry haze settles,
I realise that I'm really just... lost.

I find myself in a state of confusion
Life's like a pantomime trick or a laser illusion
Where's the place where I can stay
Save me don't let me get lost in the ocean

Is there anybody there?

Chalk

2009-07-27T22:24:00.007+08:00

How was your weekend?
I hope you had fun.. cos I know I did! :)

I was at the Old School on Saturday. It was a beautiful, warm blue-skied evening. And the place is refreshingly peaceful.. tranquil!
Designer peeps have always amazed me with their left-handed, right-brained creativity.
Like turning an old school compound into design offices and studios surrounded by lifestyle pubs.

Good thing I drove tho, cos it's a long climb up here from the main road below.
As we were getting out of the car, the gardener was watering the plants, and casually hosed down this giant red man sculpture.

Red Man was hunched over, panting. With water droplets from the gardener's hose dripping down his chin. Yet check out his "I made it / That was worth it" smile!
I remember giggling to myself, cos if I had really climbed up all 173 steps uphill here, I would prolly look a lot like Red Man!

Anyways, we went to Chalk for dinner. My belated birthday treat from Shawn! :) thanks hon!
Thoroughly enjoyed dinner. We had foie gras, escargots, duck confit, beef stew and the dessert sampler. More pictures up in facebook!
Good food and truly impeccable service (a rarity!)
It's a great place to go.

I had the perfect company too of cos. ;)

Lily was here

2009-07-26T23:33:00.005+08:00

This is Dave Stewart from The Eurythmics on guitar, and Candy Dulfer (daughter of Dutch sax legend Hans Dulfer) on what else, the sax.
All the way back from 1989, when big hair was in and big ballads ruled the airwaves.

Absolutely sexy, incredibly addictive!

GASP

2009-07-23T22:38:00.011+08:00

It's been a year since I started working!
It happened so quickly that I almost forgot it was my one year anniv since I started work. (YAY i get my certs. BOO that my certs mean peanuts!)
Well of cos there are many many days that seem to drag on forever and I din think I would survive it.
But guess what! I did!! :) (Thank you God for really carrying me through it!!)

I realised it's so easy to grow weary and jaded from working life.
Especially days when we are maxed out and I feel my index finger could just break away and run off in protest.
And days when I struggle to keep my cool with clients who are morons.

But I am determined.

So what if I just turned 24. And that I've actually held a steady job for a year, trying to be a responsible adult.
So what if my JC pictures look ridiculously like something out of the 90s. And that friends my age are buying flats already.
Maturity does not necessarily equate old, boring and wrinkled.
(I would like to think I'm neither old, boring NOR wrinkled, thank you very much.)

I am determined to never lose the child inside of my being.
To still find joy in silly jokes, little things and care bears :)
To still remember to pause and smell the flowers.

I definitely like the thought of that!

Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Therapy with Jack Donaghy

2009-07-20T22:08:00.003+08:00

30 Rock is a brilliant, brilliant satire! :)
Alec Baldwin is pure genius!!

Thankyew!

2009-07-13T20:30:00.004+08:00

A BIG THANK YOU to everyone for your well wishes on my birthday :)
Each and everyone of you made that day all the more special for me.
I really appreciate it! :)

It's weird being 24, when I hardly felt 23 in to begin with.
But that's growing up I guess.
It doesn't wait for you, it just happens anyway.
And that's where the excitement is :)

I've been down with gastric flu and asthma though. Which aren't a whole lot of fun.
I just pray that as this birthday hallmarks a new beginning, my health will finally be back on the right track again.

Yeaaaa.

Chickenfoot

2009-07-03T16:30:00.011+08:00

Joe Satriani
+
Chad Smith
+
Sammy Hagar
+
Michael Anthony
=

Sure it's just 4 friends coming together to make music.
But my, my.. these guys are all amazing, talented and famous musicians in their own right.

Here's a breakdown for the uninitiated:
Joe Satriani's the guitar legend (creator of the fantastic G3),
Chad Smith is Red Hot Chilli Pepper's drummer,
Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony are Van Halen's vocalist and bassist respectively.

I'm not yet sure if the sum might actually be greater than its parts.
But it's sure worth a listen!
You can have a listen here.

Check out Learning to Fall. I think it could easily be my fave from em :)

Dogfish

2009-06-24T22:14:00.007+08:00

My workplace has quite a few fish tanks.
However with so many types of fish, only 1 has managed to fascinate me this much.

It had the face of a dog, and the body of a yellow fish.
I would always look out for it, and the amazing thing is, I felt it knew who I was!
We, or rather just my friends and I, started calling it Dogfish.

I've not seen it in a few days though, so yesterday I made it a point to find it before work started.
Only to realise that it was lying on the coral 'ledge', curled up and dead!

I was really upset, and since yesterday I've been wanting to know what it really was.
After surfing and researching, and pouring over the very useful Saltwaterfish.com, I found it!!
It's called a Baby dog-faced puffer! :)

That's how it looked like! It was extremely bouyant and would keep drifting with the current. (I'm pretty impressed with how spot-on the name we gave it was!)

Also, take a look at Animal-world.com.
See! Here it says that Dogfish can recognise you! :)

Booo...
Dogfish, you are missed!

What about now?

2009-06-22T21:24:00.007+08:00

Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

Things we forget

2009-06-18T21:20:00.010+08:00

My friend and colleague Jing showed me this lovely blog today.
It's very aptly named thingsweforget.

"Writer", as he/she would like to be known as, hand draws these quirky post-it notes, with inspiring/encouraging messages that we often neglect, and pastes them at random locations around the island.

The next time I head out, I'll be sure to have my eyes peeled for one of these notes lurking around the corner!
What a way to brighten up someone's day! :)

Ickle & Lardee

2009-06-10T21:25:00.007+08:00

Meet Ickle, and his friend Lardee.

They're little milk teeth!

But of cos being tiny has nothing to do with personality.
These 2 chums have oodles of character, and charm!

It all started with Ickle...

... the lone tooth.
And then Lardee came along!
Now the 2 of them are inseparable.

And they live at My Milk Toof! :)

Do take a look! I believe good things get even better when its shared.
It's a site I recently stumbled upon.
And I am captivated by the creativity and talent behind Ickle & Lardee!

It's so succint, how simple pictures and one-liner captions can tell the story.
I can't wait to find out what Ickle & Lardee will be up to next!

AHHH. IT'S TOO CUTE!

Bag talk

2009-06-09T20:30:00.004+08:00

After a series of discussions on the bag I was raving about,
I decided I'm not opposed to Chanel, Miu Miu and their likes either.

I guess it wouldn't hurt to get something with a little more 'value' than the Marc Jacobs softy (which friends have said that it looks like something I already have anyways).

Looks like my new found bag-love isn't anywhere near exclusive!
I'm on the lookout again for a nice new bag.

Well a girl's gotta have options!

Marc by Marc Jacobs

2009-06-06T18:37:00.012+08:00

I've always wanted a designer LV, or a Gucci bag.
But now that I'm working, I've noticed that just about everyone has one of those monogrammed bags.

Even during the early morning commute on the train (the times I actually use the train that is), I notice many many woman with these bags. Real or fake.
It hardly feels special anymore.

So... I've decided to not get one of those (for now).
Instead, I've turned my bag-lust from LV/Gucci over to the creations of designer-Wunderkind, Mr Marc Jacobs!

Marc by Marc Jacobs Softy, originally uploaded by muffin :).

I was out with my Mum, wanting to get her something for her birthday.
But instead of getting anything (she couldn't decide), I chanced upon this beauty of a Marc by Marc Jacobs Softy bag, and I cannot keep my mind off it!
(It is truly, wonderfully soft!)

The fact that he also designs for LV makes his bags even more lust-worthy, yet nowhere as pretentious as the monograms.

I think I just might need to pay the store a visit again.
And hopefully that'll be sometime soon!

Dream

2009-05-31T22:08:00.004+08:00

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing...
I had a dream

Phuket

2009-05-21T13:19:00.016+08:00

Phuket, originally uploaded by muffin :).

There is a certain charm about Phuket.
The most perfect beaches, the clear-blue skies... top it up with a Singha or a fresh coconut, and you get pure bliss.
We were there over Good Friday weekend, and stayed at the Hilton, which was on the idyllic Karon beach. It was quiet, peaceful. The only thing I had to care about was not to get washed out by the waves.
And boy, was that a challenge!

In the evening we managed to catch sunset. It was breathtaking, soaking in God's majesty, and marvelling at his creations.

We were pretty much the only non-thai Asians there, and it's little wonder why these AMs would travel halfway across the world, just to be on this island.
The people are warm, the food fantastic..
This truly is the land of a thousand smiles.
I came back itching for the next trip already ;)

Fairy tales

2008-08-31T01:29:00.002+08:00

Fairy tales are more than true:
not because
they tell us that dragons exist,
but because
they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

G.K. Chesterton

Imagination

2008-07-18T01:39:00.001+08:00

The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination

Eyes open

2008-07-11T02:45:00.002+08:00

Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy's cliche'
And strange how clouds that look like mountains in the sky
are next to mountains anyway

Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I would see the world with both my eyes
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way

Guess you had to be there
Guess you had to be with me

Today I finally overcame
tryin' to fit the world inside a picture frame

Wish you were here

2008-06-23T00:52:00.002+08:00

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
Blue skies from pain.

Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?

And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.

Wish you were here.

2008-06-07T01:02:00.003+08:00

Going places...

2-5 June: Church camp
12-19 June: Mission trip
25 June - 9 July: Holiday

2008-05-30T09:44:00.001+08:00

God is good,
ALL THE TIME!

2008-05-12T23:48:00.002+08:00

You called my name
Reached out Your hand
Restored my life
And I was redeemed
The moment You entered my life

Amazing grace
Christ gave that day
My life was changed
When from my shoulders
Fell the weight of my sin

So it’s with everything I am
I reach out for Your hand
The hope for change
The second chance I’ve gained

On You I throw my life
Casting all my fears aside
How could greater love than this
Ever possibly exist

Consume my thoughts
As I rest in You
I’m now in love
With a Saviour
Bearing the marks of His love

So I’ll wait upon You now
With my hands released to You
Where a little faith’s enough
To see mountains lift and move

And I’ll wait upon You now
Dedicated to Your will
To this love that will remain
A love that never fails

Second Chance

2008-05-11T16:19:00.001+08:00

wheeeee!

OH and check this out.

2008-05-09T13:41:00.005+08:00

OK this is getting annoying.
I'm not even particularly sleepy...
But every time i take out my notes to study 4411..
I get drowsy.

AND THEN I FALL ASLEEP.

sheesh.

***

OH. And I wanna go watch Marie Digby!
But OK. Test in prioritising. *deep breaths*
My friend invited me to go see somemore! Free tix!
OKOK *deep breaths*

Grrr.

***

Less than 24 hours to FREEDOM!

Ok, I'm stressed about tmr's exam. Eeks.

2008-05-08T19:51:00.006+08:00

I thank you, God.. for holding my hand thru it all.
And as I struggle to type this post, I realise how words fail to justify this moment.
All but one...

Hallelujah! :)

2008-05-04T22:17:00.002+08:00

I'm hopeful.

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone

2008-04-28T19:24:00.006+08:00

They started showing Family Guy right before The Simpsons on Star World.
I think the yellow whackos still trumps Family Guy tho.
Cos FG is more chuckle-under-your-breath-sorta-hurhur while TS is a straight-up-and-loud-sorta-HAHA!
um... if you know what I mean.
Being too critical (or even cynical) takes much joy out of things.

It's like in jc when we got into the phase of things being 'lame'. Suddenly jokes weren't funny anymore. Thank goodness it was a fleeting phase. Heh.

Anw today's was one of the most enjoyable Simpsons epis I've seen.
What with Metallica, The Godfather, chocolate souffles and poisoned meatball pasta all rolled in one. And all this in under 30 mins.

NICE :)

Just what I needed after a day like this.
A day when I just have to sit back and try to find humour.

2008-04-26T17:25:00.003+08:00

so far away,
from what i know is true.

faith;
faith is all that's left.

2008-04-25T00:19:00.004+08:00

wish (verb) to hope, to desire;

2008-04-23T11:29:00.002+08:00

I woke up this morning and decided that I'm (going to be) happy today.
Happiness is a state of mind.

2008-04-22T20:00:00.002+08:00

I heard this on the radio this evening, and thought I just had to share it. Managed to find it online.. :p

---

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation, first:

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy.

If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her.

If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favoritism..

If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet ... its male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp.

If you don't ... you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination.

If SHE asks you ... it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert. If you don't ... you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape .... you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers ... you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you aren't ... you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache ... you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there must be someone else.

Why do men die first?

BECAUSE THEY WANT TO!

2008-04-17T21:56:00.003+08:00

A GAZILLION AMAZING THINGS AWAIT!

Endless possibilities.
It's the sweet, sweet smell of freedom.

2008-04-09T00:41:00.006+08:00

I can still remember my first day of school.
Being a transfer kid (spent a bit of time at Nan Chiau first) before moving to KCP,
I remember hating to have to make the change and having to leave my friends.
I remember kicking and crying my way to class, with my maid having to sorta drag me.
Well I'm sure Mrs Desker didn't call me Cry Baby for no reason. :)

2008-04-04T02:45:00.001+08:00

"We lose so much in life - sobriety, solvency, and sanity.
We lose jobs and chances, and we lose at love.
We lose youth and its vigour, idealism and its dreams.
We lose much,
but we never lose our place on God's "whoever" list.
Whoever - God's wonderful word of welcome."

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16

it's so true, i've realised.
that when everything else is stripped away,
or taken out of the equation..

the only thing that remains,
the one and only constant..

is God.

2008-04-03T00:10:00.001+08:00

starlight, starbright
the first star i see tonight

i wish i may,
i wish i might
have this wish i wish tonight

2008-03-27T19:09:00.001+08:00

Always Somewhere - Scorpions

Back to the days when skin tight jeans were in, and big hair and big ballads ruled.

it's funny, how the smallest thing can make my day,
and also how the smallest thing can take it all away

2008-03-27T00:19:00.003+08:00

thank You for the cross
and for the hope; the life that it brings

Your grace is sufficient for me

2008-03-16T22:23:00.004+08:00

it's been too long
since i've last set eyes on you

to just stand there
at that moment

alone,
silent and still

only to be amazed by you
to be humbled by you

starry nights,
you make my day.

2008-03-13T22:20:00.000+08:00

stop,
pause;
listen.

2008-03-10T11:22:00.003+08:00

So they showed Pirates of the Caribbean last night on telly.

Did you know, Jack Sparrow is actually based on a real pirate?
Calico Jack.

Anw, interestingly enough, Calico Jack had on board with him 2 ladies. One was the captain of another pirate ship, and the other was his wife. (The show had 2 ladies in his crew too) I think he was also the first to come up with the skull and crossbones flag. Tho the original is very basic and primitive looking.

Also, remem Keith Richards' bit in the later installment of the show? He's fashioned after the infamous Blackbeard. Legend has it that after being killed by the British and beheaded, Blackbeard's body was thrown off ship. And the headless body floated around the boat a few times before going down. Eeks.

Here's the even cooler bit: when the Brits boarded Calico Jack's ship, all the men were so drunk that it was the 2 women alone who fought the Brits. They lost, the men were hung but the women escaped hanging by claiming to be pregnant. So anyway, they were jailed. The other lady died in the cell, while Jack's wife escaped. She was rumoured to be carrying his kid, sooooooooo... haha maybe somewhere out there there's a descendant of the pirate himself.

How do I know this?
I'm a Globe Trekker junkie :p

2008-03-04T21:48:00.004+08:00

7 March - FNA class test
8 March - FNA mid term test
11 March - ee4411 mid term test
13 March - Deadline for sc1101e reflection paper
14 March - sc1101e mid term paper question is out
17 March - sc1101e mid term paper DUE
21 March - FNA book review due
27 March - sc1101e ethnography report due
31 March onwards - FYP CA3
4 April - Deadline of submission of draft thesis + techincal paper
14 April onwards- FYP CA4
28 April - Exam starts

11 May - SCHOOL'S OUT!

There is always light at the end of the tunnel.
Unless if of cos it's at night, or if you're digging underground. In which case there'll be light when you finally get to the other side of earth or something like that.
Ok I am not making sense.

2008-02-28T12:52:00.004+08:00

a way to give back
foodheart

cos it isn't just about the "me".

2008-02-13T02:20:00.000+08:00

i really should be asleep right now.
yet i'm wide awake, my mind filled with a million things.

it's like in the gatorade ad where the guy's running but everything is just pushing him back.

i want to be at my special place,
yet i know that if i made my way there now, i'll just fall asleep halfway and not be able to make my way back.

i really want a short holiday, but that just sounds like too much to ask for.

2008-02-02T01:51:00.000+08:00

These days I surf for travel deals to destress.

ineedabreak

2008-01-31T15:41:00.001+08:00

I have been a lot busier these days.
What with fyp, 2 extra mods and tuition.

I guess it is a blessing in disguise in someways, cos the less time I have to myself, the less my mind wanders... the less time I have to mull over things, and less likely to get depressed/upset/pms over it.

Yet it's like I'm fluttering from one task, one place to be.. to another. It feels superficial. Almost robotic.

It seems as if I simply do things, not experience em.

Hrm.

2008-01-28T01:26:00.000+08:00

Hebrews 11:1
faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen

2008-01-24T15:07:00.000+08:00

In my quest to locate my TI financial calculator (thereby saving myself 1 day of my tuition pay), I had to (very reluctantly) go thru my drawers.

For those who somehow have the impression I'm a neat, anal and organized person, I'm sorry to disappoint. Drawers, to me, provide the greatest function of allowing me to chuck anything I don't feel like looking at or addressing at the moment. After which they become forgotton most of the time, so the pile and mess in there just grows. So yea, it's a messed up hole in there.

Anw, I came across my stack of painkillers. I think enough to last me 2 years plus, tho they would have expired by then. I've not had to pop those pills for a while now, tho that's not to say I don't get chest pains anyhow. I still do, but rarely I guess. I'm managing. So right now I'm contributing them to the common pool of house meds, instead of hoarding them in my room in case of some sudden paralyzing emergency. Hah.

I also found a piece of yellow paper in the same drawer. I cannot remember when I got it, or kept it. It's a yellow insert from the 8.30am bulletin some years back. The 8.30am anthem by the Chancel Choir. (ok this must be years old, cos I've not gone for 8.30 service in eons) It clearly must've struck a chord tho, cos I kept it neatly folded till now. Printed on the paper are the lyrics for the song Keep On Believing. (I promise I don't even know how the tune sounds like.) Here goes:

Sometimes, the shadows gather and mists obscure the way;
Sometimes, the clouds grow heavy, and darken all the day.
How precious to remember our Father's loving care,
That He still loves His children and He answers prayer.

Keep on believing God will answer prayer;
Keep on believing, never despair;
Though you be heavy-laden, and burdened down with care,
That God still loves His children and He answers prayer.

Sometimes, the way is dreary, we seem to walk alone;
Forgetting that the Father keeps watch above His own.
Now many needless sorrows the faithless have to bear.
For God still loves His children and He answers prayer.

O soul, weighed down with sorrow, beneath a heavy load,
Remember God will help you, however rough the road.
His grace is still sufficient for every load of care,
God ever loves His children and He answers prayer.

Keep on believing God will answer prayer;
Keep on believing, never despair;
Though you be heavy-laden, and burdened down with care,
That God still loves His children and He answers prayer.

xoxo

2008-01-22T23:32:00.001+08:00

I'm blogging super a lot today. But here goes anw.

DAY 17 - What Matters Most

No matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do,
I'm bankrupt without love.
- 1 Corinthians 13:3b

Love means living the way God commanded us to live. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is this: Live a life of love.
- 2 John 1:6

2008-01-22T20:02:00.000+08:00

all the things and people we take for granted
gotta be careful..
cos one day they just might not be there anymore

2008-01-22T17:13:00.000+08:00

I have an epiphany!

God is good, all the time!

As previously complained about, I was down with a viral rash, pityriases rosea, starting 23rd dec. For the longest time I was grouchy, sulky and just being plain anti-social.

PR, takes 6 - 8 weeks to go away. Haha that is a very long time to be grouchy ya.

Anw, so I kept praying for it to go away in 6 weeks.. Then one day Shawn pointed smth out to me. Saying how we keep praying for it to go away but keep believing it'll take 6 weeks, as the doc and med journals said. Why not pray for faster healing, and have faith in God.

You know you know. It was gone within a week since the change in attitude! Totals 3 wks plus of me having the stupid rash!

Peen asked what do I think God is trying to tell me. So yes, back to the epiphany.

I supposed God was teaching me about patience, yes, but more importantly about faith.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. - Hebrews 11:1

2008-01-20T22:29:00.000+08:00

i'm upset

2008-01-20T01:56:00.000+08:00

get a grip

2008-01-16T23:40:00.001+08:00

I finally got the whole degree requirement thing sorted out.

For the longest time I was wondering why I'm 2 mods short of graduating but will end up with 165 MCs, instead of the required 160.

Turns out I just need 1 mod (tech depth) this sem to grad :)

Quite happy la, considering I wasn't sure if I'll ever get thru Engin.
Thank you, God, for holding my hand every step of the way..

I'm taking 2 extra anw. So right now it's fyp, ee4411, sc1101e and fna2004.

Suddenly sounds like a lot ya.

Hrm.

2008-01-15T00:06:00.000+08:00

hope which was lost,
now stands renewed

2008-01-14T00:06:00.000+08:00

"For June who loved this garden
from Joseph who always sat beside her."

2008-01-12T00:36:00.000+08:00

i cannot believe i am less than halfway thru this.
:(
patience
i need patience......................

2008-01-05T17:49:00.000+08:00

Hooray. Laptop sold.
A big THANKYEW to thungs and lk and everyone else who helped me ask around :)

I cannot believe school is starting in a week. This hardly feels like a holiday (my last school holiday apparently), cos of fyp and rash. I'm down to 2 mods and fyp. I smell freedom! :)

This past week has been nice tho. I stayed in quite a lot cos heat still bothers my rash. My friends have been great, visited me one of the afternoons. I heart you peeps!

Really sorry to all that I've pangsehed this hols, got rash! I'm almost ok alr tho, so yes. CAN MEET UP! CALL ME!!!

Oooooh. And I got myself a new wallet this week.

Anyhoo, considering it's the new year, I have a teeny weeny list of things I wanna do. I don't really consider it a resolutions list. More of a To-Do list. (Resolutions, as I have learnt, hardly work..)

So here goes:
1. Advance PADI
2. Learn CPR at SGH or CGH (anyone interested to learn with me? a one-day course)
3. Marathon

Ok this post has been completely random and unorganized.
But I think I like it this way :)

xoxo

2007-12-30T14:34:00.000+08:00

----------SOLD-----------------
I'm selling a BRAND NEW Compaq Presario F576AU.
It's sealed and unopened, my mum won it in a lucky draw.

Full specs as follows:

Retails for $1099,
I'm selling for $900.

Can drop me a call at 98366402 if you're interested :)

2007-12-27T22:06:00.000+08:00

I guess prolly the only positive outcome of this is me having to stay in today. Some me-time.

Spent the day watching tv, reading the Hitchhiker's Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Evening was spent on the phone with people I would otherwise be hanging out with. A quick hello to the uni peeps having steamboat; and a nice chat w toon and collin. Bird's nest and flowers, really? haha..

Ok, back to reading.. I like Marvin! hahaha Marvin the Paranoid Android.

2007-12-27T14:53:00.000+08:00

I'm down with pityraisis rosea, a non-contagious viral rash.
It's really rare to get it on the face, but guess what. I got it there too.

SUPER ITCHY!

I feel hideous :(

and I'm missing out on the parties!

I'm praying the doc is right, that it'll go away in a week. Unlike what's on the websites, saying it takes 6 - 12 weeks... Or maybe he told me that so I wouldn't scream at his face. *wails*

2007-12-23T00:39:00.001+08:00

2007-12-21T13:07:00.000+08:00

Holiday-perfect movies!

1. Millions
2. The Grinch
3. Love Me If You Dare
4. LOTR
5. Les Choristes

2007-12-17T14:09:00.000+08:00

Randoms:

1. Carol of the Bells is stuck in my head.

2. I heart The Hills. My not-so-secret-anymore guilty pleasure.

3. i keep having this thot not to be careless with my life; "it's not who i am that defines me, but what i do."

4. sometimes i feel taken for granted.

5. i am SO GLAD this yr is almost over!

6. christmas! i want creative earphones. and a break/getaway. (but if u r getting me the earphones pls tell me, else i'll get em myself alr.) haha.

2007-12-15T14:52:00.001+08:00

God is good,
all the time.

2007-12-13T15:52:00.000+08:00

For those who've done enough programming flowcharts..
Pardon the language.

2007-12-12T22:44:00.000+08:00

V is for Valerie!

2007-12-11T23:51:00.001+08:00

i feel like i'm losing myself

it's like suddenly i've turned into this insecure little person
i can't find my bearings nor my footing

i don't know what's happening
and i can't shake this

2007-12-10T21:36:00.000+08:00

It feels like everything is in limbo for me.

Exams are long over but I'm stuck with fyp (a major pain)
I'm experiencing immense inertia to plough through, esp when I keep encountering problem after problem..

It sucks when life revolves around exams and fyp.
Feels like everything else is passing me by.
And I'm just feeling SIAN about everything cos of this.

But yea, I will get thru school. I trust God to carry me through.
I am undefeated, cos He's holding my hand, never letting go.

I cannot wait till CA2 is over....
Counting down the days before it's HOLIDAYYYYYYYY time :)

2007-12-09T23:53:00.000+08:00

i am undefeated

-

You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand
You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand
So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You
So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand
So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
Show me Your heart
Show me Your way
Show me Your glory

The Stand

2007-12-06T00:19:00.000+08:00

i want to pack my bags,
and hop on the next flight out of here

destination: HOLIDAY

heh.
dream on woman!

arghhhhhh. really frustrated with fyp.

2007-11-26T20:13:00.000+08:00

I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG!

It's really old, and I stumbled upon it while running thru my music files..
A lullaby..
(at least that's what i think of it)

Queensryche - Silent Lucidity (Live from '91)

2007-11-25T01:19:00.001+08:00

2007-11-24T01:16:00.000+08:00

2007-11-23T16:07:00.000+08:00

i need to believe in myself.
i need to believe in myself.

okayyy..

2007-11-21T16:19:00.000+08:00

I wrote a series of Penny Loo jambo, but it got thrown away accidentally. Heh.
So anywayyyy...
Introducing Penny Loo, my pen-friend-and-form-of-self-entertainment from HR2002 class.

Penny Loo, Penny Loo
Where are you?
I told you alr..
I can't help it that the sky is blue!

OKAY. Back to notes.

2007-11-21T15:35:00.000+08:00

It's hard not to feel as if I've got a "FAILURE" sign hanging from my neck.

It is demoralising.

Matthew 6:26

Your grace is all I rely on

2007-11-20T00:45:00.000+08:00

Raindrops on ~~roses~~ sidewalks

2007-11-19T20:24:00.000+08:00

You wait, wanting this world
To let you in
And you stand there
A frozen light
In dark and empty streets
You smile hiding behind
A God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to see

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to do without
The only way to feel again
Is let love in

let love in - goo goo dolls

2007-11-15T23:37:00.000+08:00

Spare a little candle
Save some light for me
Figures up ahead
Moving in the trees
White skin in linen
Perfume on my wrist
And the full moon that hangs over
These dreams in the mist

Darkness on the edge
Shadows where I stand
I search for the time
On a watch with no hands
I want to see you clearly
Come closer than this
But all I remember
Are the dreams in the mist

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

Is it cloak and dagger
Could it be spring or fall?
I walk without a cut
Through a stained glass wall
Weaker in my eyesight
The candle in my grip
And words that have no form
Are falling from my lips

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

There's something out there
I can't resist
I need to hide away from the pain
There's something out there
I can't resist

The sweetest song is silence
That I've ever heard
Funny how your feet
In dreams never touch the earth
In a wood full of princes
Freedom is a kiss
But the prince hides his face
From dreams in the mist

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

these dreams - heart

2007-11-13T22:47:00.001+08:00

2007-11-10T23:08:00.001+08:00

If you enjoyed Stardust the movie, GO GET THE BOOK! It's wayyyyy better than the movie. Cos the movie is only "based on" the actual story.
psst. thanks to Jason for mailing me Stardust all the way from NY a few years back!

And if like me, you totally fell in love with the book (it's my fave fairy-tale!), and you're game for something A LOT darker, go pick up Neverwhere (also by Neil Gaiman). Haha, take that as a dare. One of Gaiman's best works in my opinion.

Here's the "prelude" to Stardust.. Well, sort of..

Song

Go and catch a falling star,
Get with child a mandrake root,
Tell me where all past years are,
Or who cleft the Devil's foot;
Teach me to hear mermaids singing,
Or to keep off envy's stinging,
And find
What wind
Serves to advance an honest mind.

If thou be'st born to strange sights,
Things invisible to see,
Ride ten thousand days and nights
Till Age snow white hairs on thee;
Thou, when thou return'st, wilt tell me
All strange wonders that befell thee,
And swear
No where
Lives a woman true and fair.

If thou find'st one, let me know;
Such a pilgrimage were sweet.
Yet do not; I would not go,
Though at next door we might meet.
Though she were true when you met her,
And last till you write your letter,
Yet she
Will be
False, ere I come, to two or three.

-John Donne. 1573–1631

2007-11-04T14:41:00.000+08:00

Got this link for the personality test from lk's blog.

--

The Ultra Ultimate Personality Test
Your Score: The Idealist
You scored 47 Extroversion, 69 Intuition, 72 Emotional, and 55 Spontaneity!
INFP

INFPs are quiet, creative, sensitive and perceptive souls who often strike others as shy, reserved and cool. These folks have a rare capacity for deep caring and commitment--both to the people and causes they idealize. INFPs guide their behavior by a strong inner sense of values, rather than by conventional logic and reason. Forced to cope with this facts-and-figures "real" world we inhabit, INFPs may appear to have been imported from another galaxy! They gravitate toward creative or human service careers which allow them to use their instinctive sense of empathy and remarkable communication skills. Strongly religious, spiritual or philosophical people, INFPs may see the purpose of their lives as an inner journey, quest or personal unfolding. More practical or rational types may tend to discredit the INFP's sources of understanding as mystical. The search for a soulmate is a preoccupation for many INFPs, who must balance their need for privacy and peace with their yearning for human connection. If there seems to be an air of sadness in the INFP's spirit, blame it on this type's longing for the perfect in all things.

Relationships
INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful to others, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely. In the relationship arena, this causes them to have a very deep capacity for love and caring which is not frequently found with such intensity in the other types. The INFP does not devote their intense feelings towards just anyone, and are relatively reserved about expressing their inner-most feelings. They reserve their deepest love and caring for a select few who are closest to them. INFPs are generally laid-back, supportive and nurturing in their close relationships. With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they're very sensitive and in-tune with people's feelings, and feel genuine concern and caring for others. Slow to trust others and cautious in the beginning of a relationship, an INFP will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals who value depth and authenticity in their relationships, and hold those who understand and accept the INFP's perspectives in especially high regard. INFPs are usually adaptable and congenial, unless one of their ruling principles has been violated, in which case they stop adapting and become staunch defenders of their values. They will be uncharacteristically harsh and rigid in such a situation.

Strengths
Warmly concerned and caring towards others
Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling
Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
Deep capacity for love and caring
Driven to meet other's needs
Strive for "win-win" situations
Nurturing, supportive and encouraging
Likely to recognize and appreciate other's need for space
Able to express themselves well
Flexible and diverse

--

You can be the judge of that.
Alright... Back to work!

(Anw, I don't believe in the whole idea of soulmates. No such thing in my world.)

2007-11-03T13:18:00.001+08:00

let go and let God...

let go and let God...

2007-10-31T00:23:00.000+08:00

While doing qt today, I imagined what heaven might be like..

I used to think that heaven was overrun by pious, uber-holy ppl in glowing white robes and all. People that never cussed, never did anything wrong.. (Sorta like the Flanders family from The Simpsons)

But today I just had this thot that heaven is more filled with ordinary people. I imagined people walking around with white robes, yes.. but they weren't boring and stuffy.. instead they had funny characters.. a decent sense of humour. um also with bad hair and all..

There's this drawing in my Bible (I'm using a Catholic Bible actually, Today's English Version), and it was a picture of a "grandstand" (using JC terms here, haha) of people cheering as one guy was being given a crown of leaves.. (this is for 2 Tim 4:8)

I imagined that in that grandstand there were people of all different races, people who looked like me and you.. Also people who wore tattoos and looked gruff, ex-convicts and all..

And I had a thot.

God doesn't expect me to be sinfree and perfect. There is no way I am anywhere close to that. (I think it's a serious prob if anyone were to think themselves perfect n sinfree actually..)

I'm flawed, I'm a sinner.

Why else would Jesus have to die on the cross?

Um okayy.. cos of that too but it's mostly cos of God's desire to save us cos of love..

And I had another thot.
That God doesnt expect me to be perfect, all He wants is that I love Him soooo much, that I submit my life, my everything to Him.. and in so-doing, try my bestest not to sin.

I'm guessing that for most of those people in heaven right now.. that's the one and only thing they have in common. Yet also the single most important thing to have in common.
They found God's love, and chose to run after Him, to repent and to worship Him with all that they are.

Love.

That's the main thing.
I din say it, it's all there in the 2 greatest commandments.
L O V E

Hmmm........

---

I liked today's devotional a lot, so I pasted part of it below:

"All voyages, however, are fraught with uncertainty, especially those that pass through waters never sailed before. We don’t fear death so much as we do the passage. Who knows what dangers lie ahead?

But the journey is not uncharted. One has taken it before us, and He has returned to bring us safely through. Although we pass through the valley of the shadow of death, God is with us all the way (Ps. 23:4). His hands are on the helm as He guides us to the heavenly haven He has prepared for us (John 14:1-3)." —David H. Roper

---

(and while typing this blog post, this song started playing on my iTunes.. haha)

A Saviour on a hill dying for my shame
Could this be true?
Defies the world I see
Yet this is all my heart was longing for
To know You my Lord
To know You Lord

You deserve
You deserve
You deserve all the praise

The heavens wept for You
The earth cried out "Could He be the One?"
For You so loved the world
You gave Your only Son to say
I love you so
Oh how I love You so

Hallelujah to the King
Hallelujah we will sing forever

And all humanity
Aches to find this beautiful love You give
We come to You again
To offer up our lives
To worship You alone
To worship You alone

2007-10-29T23:04:00.000+08:00

I'm not the easiest person to love
But you, you opened your heart
To show me what I'm worth

Cause you choose to be
On the side of me
On the side of me

2007-10-29T17:38:00.000+08:00

I'm so done with school. I can't believe it's been 3 and a half years already. I'm done really, I want to give up.

I have zero interest in classes, zero motivation, and this whole thing is spilling over to other areas of my life.
I'm losing direction..

Right.. I'm just bitching and whining when there's nothing else I can do about it, cept to make the best out of this.

Sigh.

Anw, my friends are already starting to plan grad trips.
Should I do something too?